Balance
July 25, 2008. I have flat feet.
This has been a source of embarrassment and frustration for me as long back as I can remember. I have memories of going to pool parties and trying to walk on the sides of my foot so that my footprints would be like the thin, elegant prints of my peers. Mine looked like vaguely triangular blobs.
These days I’ve worked past my footprint shame. Now I am dealing with a completely separate issue.
Balance.
As I’ve mentioned previously in my blog and in my podcast, I am a practitioner of yoga. I love it. Well, maybe love is too strong. Love/hate, perhaps? Some sort of dysfunctional masochistic passion? Hard to say for sure…
I started yoga in grad school. I was supremely inflexible (looking back on it, that was true mentally as well as physically). When doing a standing forward bend I could just barely reach my shins (and yes, I am talking about the tops of my shins).
My experiences with yoga up to that point had been some gentle stretching exercises in an acting class or two. Imagine my shock when after one hour with our sadistic German yogi, I had created a veritable pool of sweat in front of me. Our teacher then grinned and said, “Dat vas de eesiest day of yoga ve vill haf.” He was true to his word.
What really surprised me was how much I grew to love it. I began practicing on my own, flowing through the asanas in the courtyard. By the end of grad school, I could flatten my torso completely against my legs while in the standing forward bend.
But those balancing poses? Not so much.
I would flail and flop around, unable to find a focal point. Tree pose? Possibly. If it’s a palm tree in a hurricane. There was nothing stable about my balancing asanas.
It’s still something I struggle with. I was working on the tree pose this morning, so exhilarated that I had finally managed to stay balanced on that stupid left foot of mine (it’s the flatter of the two).
As I continued through the rest of my practice, my mind kept drifting back to the tree pose, trying to figure out what I had done differently today.
I realized that there were two basic things that had helped me achieve greater balance today: focus (I found a point to look at, and kept my attention on it) and acceptance of where I was right now. I am usually so frustrated with my imbalance that I try to push myself to do better. I’ve found that doesn’t work so well. As I accepted the fact that I was just going to wobble more than others might, I began to stabilize. Huh.
I’m sure you know where I’m going next. This applies to our acting. When we focus by making specific choices in our acting, we find balance in our performances. When we accept where we are in the moment, we find balance in our lives. The importance of a balanced life for an actor cannot be overstressed.
So, stay focused, accept where you are right now, get up off your tush, get out and ACT!!!
I am a tree.
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:-) I just smile every time I read your posts. How can I not. I have no idea where you are going, then boom, you hit me in the heart. You are a tree and I thank you for it
Carolyn said this on July 25th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
I have flat feet too Ben. Except i used to deliberately take pride in my wet footprints to freak people out.
As you know, i also suffer from that ‘trying to be better’ thing too.
But this is a beautiful example of the greatness of staying present. In fact, it almost inspires the feeling of being present in itself. And you’ll be pleased to know i’m getting much better at that. This blog only helped with that too.
PS. Yoga is something i wanted to get involved in for a long time. Any tips on how best to start?
Adam Buncher said this on August 2nd, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Thanks for your post, Adam. I’m glad to hear that you’re learning to stay present in the moment. If you can get that down at this point in your life, you’ll completely surpass me (and there is nothing that would make me happier).
As for yoga, I recommend that you find a class that interests you. Don’t try to start out with DVD’s–you really need a teacher to show you the proper way to enter the poses so you don’t hurt yourself. There are quite a few different styles. Hatha or Iyengar yoga will be a somewhat gentler beginning than what I experienced. Bikram or “hot” yoga is good if you want to just sweat and sweat and sweat. If you’re more into a real workout, try Ashtanga. That’s the style I studied in grad school, and I loved it!
actingwithoutthedrama said this on August 2nd, 2008 at 11:34 pm