Acting Without the Drama

October 28, 2008.  I had a teacher in undergrad that I didn’t understand.  It’s happened plenty of times since then, but I’m not sure that I ever had quite as dramatic a paradigm shift as I did with her.

She rarely gave “good” notes.  She would talk about what wasn’t working, getting in and tweaking the stuff that needed to be tweaked, but even then it was more pointing away from the work that wasn’t effective.  She didn’t actually point us in a specific direction.

It was maddening.  I just wanted to be told what to do.  And then when I did it, I wanted to be stroked for it.  That never happened in her class.  Did I mention it was maddening?  I was a fragile actor.  Didn’t she get that?  I was young and needed to be directed.  Maddening, I tell you, just maddening.

Then, sometime much later, I woke up.  I think I was working on a project where the director was a true micro-manager.  Every move was choreographed.  Every gesture was dictated.  I found myself reminiscing fondly of my time in the maddening class.

The light bulb burst into light above my furrowed brow.  That’s what my teacher had been doing the entire time.  She had been giving me freedom to develop my own style, my own peformance, my own voice.  Telling me what moments were working would effectively lock me into place.  I would seek to duplicate those moments, regardless of what was happening around me.  Telling me what she wanted me to do would be equally limiting.

All of the sudden, she was a genius.

Now, I’m not detracting any from the directors that have a strong vision and want it fulfilled.  It’s our job as actors to bring life to whatever words we’re given and to do it in the way the director asks.  I just didn’t realize at the time how amazing it was to work with a true actor’s director.  She definitely had a vision, and actively participated in making sure we were following it.  She also did it in a way that gave us freedom to make our own choices.

While I have developed a style of teaching that is quite different from hers, I always measure what I’m doing against the yardstick that she held up for me.  How much freedom am I giving my students?  Is what I’m telling them locking them down, tying them to the earth?  Or is it giving them enough room to be able to launch themselves into the air, testing out their wings?  I am a different actor, a different teacher and a different person because of her.  She is a true mentor, in every sense of the word.

I’ve worked with some amazing teachers and directors in my life.  I’m not sure that there is anyone that has had more impact on me that she has.  Thank you, Barta!

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