Acting Without the Drama

November 25, 2008.  I talk a lot about my kids on this blog.  There’s a reason for that.  My whole life pretty much revolves around them.

When you have children, there is a falling in love process (at least for men) that very closely resembles a romantic relationship.  You miss them when you’re apart.  You feel complete when they’re close.  Everything about them seems exquisite and right.

They smell good, even when they don’t.

Now, obviously, it’s not all peaches and cream.  Neither is a romantic relationship, right?  When your son decides to pee in the lid of a boardgame box because, “I’ve never done it before,” or when your daughter shows you the painting she’s done on the new coffee table…the bloom is off the proverbial rose.

What’s great about those moments is just how proud they can be of their “creations.”

I talk a lot about the negative voices or tapes that I have in my head.  You’ve heard me refer to them as children that are scared and hurt.

It’s really easy for me to get frustrated or even angry at those voices.  Myself.  My young and hurt and frightened and fragile self.

I’ve also had moments, beautiful moments, where I start to fall in love with those children.  Because they are beautiful.  They developed the voices they have because they’ve been protecting something precious and sacred.  They protected our talents, our gifts, our insights, our love.

Kinda hard not to love them for that.  They’re tragic, bruised and battered.  They’re the characters in the shows that we just ache for.  We think to ourselves, “If only they could see how amazing they really are.”

Yes, if only.

And that’s our job.  Falling in love with our kids.  Letting them know that the world is a beautiful place that they don’t need to be afraid of.  That we value them, cherish them, love them.

I see the effect my love has on my sons and daughter.  Learning to love myself fully, even the fragmented parts of me, can have that same effect.

I can picture my inner children, giving up their negative tapes and running free.  Playing.  Laughing.

I think I’d like to join them. 

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