Acting Without the Drama

January 26, 2009. Ahhhh, the smell of fear in the morning!

I’ll admit it. I’m afraid of GarageBand.

It’s irrational, I’m sure, but GarageBand seems to represent some arcane spellbook that sorcerers use to work their magicks. And yes, I did spell magic with a “k.” I’m wacky like that.

Now, I talked a little about this in a previous podcast, and at the time, I was doing a bit better. Today, I’ve run smack dab into a wall. That wall is one that has existed for me since I was little.

See, composing was always treated as magic in my home. I’m pretty sure that my dad has the talent to compose music (he certainly has the knowledge), but I never saw him do it. I watched him make arrangements of other people’s music. I saw him tinker and test and rework and retry. I never saw him compose.

And obviously, if my dad can’t do it…

But I’m not my dad. My dad is great, but I’m living a different life than he led. And he’s proud of me for it. He’s told me so.

I’m not saying I’m living a better life than him. I’m just choosing to do things differently.

He has the training and ear of a musician. Mine is not nearly as practiced as his. He chose not to attempt to compose. I can choose something else.

My early attempts may not be useable.

That’s the real kicker. I want to be good right out of the gate. Scratch that. I want to be GREAT right out of the gate!

That’s probably not gonna happen. Art generally doesn’t work that way. It can, but it usually doesn’t.

So, I’ll muddle my way through, and hope for something that works. If I can’t get there, we’ll just have to find someone that can help us out.

The artistic process doesn’t have to be filled with angst. Occasionally, I need to remind myself of that. It is, after all, the title of my podcast…

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