Out of It

March 31, 2009.  So sometimes things are just…off.

It happens from time to time.  We’re onstage, and nothing seems to synch or gel.  We’re talking to someone, and there’s this weird time lapse effect.  We’re playing ball and we just can’t connect it with the bat.

I’m not sure where exactly moments like that come from.  It’s obviously some form of disconnection, but it’s one that seems to come out of nowhere.  We’re just slightly outside of our bodies, looking in.

When I’m acting and this happens, it’s almost like there’s a voice that’s just over my shoulder, speaking to me.  It uses my voice, so it almost does feel like I’m outside of my body.  But it’s not really me.  It’s hyper critical.  I’m not.  It’s judgemental.  I’d like to think that I’m not that either.

The voice wants to protect me.  It asks me to focus on myself and all the possible mistakes I could make.  It’s trying to keep me from becoming vulnerable.  Open.  Accesible.

The voice knows something.  It knows that when we truly connect with others, they can see who we truly are.  All of it.  All of the pain and fear that we normally hide are there for anyone to see when we are connected.

And the voice doesn’t like it.

It’s the voice that’s afraid that if people knew who we really were, they couldn’t possibly love us.

But the truth is, when we’re connected, when we allow others to see who we really are, they can’t help but love us.  Unless, that is, they’re busy listening to their own voices.

The only thing that I’ve found that works when things are feeling off is to focus out.  Rather than listen to the voice that’s asking me to focus inward, I focus out on the others around me.  What do they need?  What can I do to help them?  How can I help give them what they require in order to open up and connect?

The way out of the discombobulation is to focus out.

In other words, the only way to get out of the disconnection…is to connect.  :)



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One Response to “Out of It”

  1. So simple, yet so difficult to practice in the moment :-) Thanks for the excellent reminder!

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