Reset
November 4, 2009. Today a situation came up that felt like a complete reset from the beginning of the year. An opportunity that seems perfect on the surface. Okay, maybe not even on the surface.
Because the oppotunity itself is almost irrelevant. It’s my response to it that’s so telling.
Having the offer made me feel worthwhile. But does my sense of worth really depend on someone wanting to hire me? I’ve been hired before. I’ve left jobs, too. Did my worth change when things didn’t work out? Does my value as a person have anything to do with my external circumstances?
Here’s another (more uncomfortable) truth. The offer made me feel vindicated. This was proof positive that anyone that “questioned my worth” was wrong. Go, me!!
Except that I’m pretty sure that it doesn’t prove anything. It’s just an offer that’s coming at kind of an awkward time that I’m not totally sure is a realistic plan.
So, this time through I would like to do things differently. Walk through the situation more present and conscious. Ask uncomfortable questions when things aren’t completely clear.
Because I think that this is all exactly what needs to be happening right now.
And that’s pretty stinkin’ cool. 
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Yep, that’s pretty stinking cool!!! Great job.
carolyn said this on November 5th, 2009 at 10:10 am